she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
