I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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