i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
