so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
