I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.