Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps

Fav 24 1746 8601
share tweet
(781): View more from Massachusetts

At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes

Fav 10 3642 1326
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....

Fav 14 4345 890
share tweet
(889): View more from

found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.

Fav 3 3012 1584
share tweet
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.

Fav 4 3188 1117
share tweet
(205): View more from Alabama

In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.

(205): View more from Alabama

But happy liver failure. That's what counts.

Fav 3 1765 960
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(905): View more from Ontario

threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.

Fav 2 1531 823
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.

Fav 0 705 505
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(212): View more from New York

She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?

Fav 1 132 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT