he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
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What changed your mind?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
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There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.