i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.