she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
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I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
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I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.