thus making me awesome and them whores
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
