Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i think my tv is drunk

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  (860): i think my tv is drunk http://tfl.nu/pa05
  Replies (5) Good night (1450) Bad night (620)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!

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  (816): Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?! http://tfl.nu/dodw
  Replies (15) Good night (1218) Bad night (7243)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.

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  (407): I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist. http://tfl.nu/erea
  Replies (11) Good night (3897) Bad night (920)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR

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  (604): I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR http://tfl.nu/a8v0
  Replies (15) Good night (3158) Bad night (1943)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake

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  (405): He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake http://tfl.nu/082h
  Replies (6) Good night (3257) Bad night (1017)
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  (619): View more from California

  Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.

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  (619): Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time. http://tfl.nu/4w7h
  Replies (21) Good night (2798) Bad night (1353)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights

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  (203): Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights http://tfl.nu/qbnp
  Replies (5) Good night (1947) Bad night (1248)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.

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  (931): Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this. http://tfl.nu/inch
  Replies (8) Good night (4410) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.

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  (615): I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause. http://tfl.nu/2yit
  Replies (8) Good night (1910) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.

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  (918): He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his. http://tfl.nu/1fae
  Replies (32) Good night (3225) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...

  (567): View more from Ohio

  Keep it.

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  (419): I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate... (567): Keep it. http://tfl.nu/x8n2
  Replies (0) Good night (1124) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom

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  (616): Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom http://tfl.nu/uno6
  Replies (8) Good night (1548) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos

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  (310): When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos http://tfl.nu/izqt
  Replies (6) Good night (914) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.

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  (561): Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking. http://tfl.nu/ixjm
  Replies (4) Good night (337) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.

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  (949): "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment. http://tfl.nu/f4dn
  Replies (0) Good night (728) Bad night (357)

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