pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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