I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
