youre lurking in front of me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
