I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
