this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
