I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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