I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
