I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
