Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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