If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
