There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
