Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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