Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
