I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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