well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
