ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
