Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
