i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
