im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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