WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
