I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
