He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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