Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
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I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
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I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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