I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
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I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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