It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
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I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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