she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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