why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You were trust falling into bushes
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
