Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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