u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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