8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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