I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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