We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
