it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
