I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
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It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
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We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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