Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
