I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
