This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
