Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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