We won't sleep together?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
