Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
