I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Its about making memories worth repressing
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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