It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
