so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
