You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
