Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
