I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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