Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
