the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
