You're my little dorito
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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