i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
