Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
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at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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