how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
