One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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