Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
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