dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
