and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Be still, my beating vagina.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The Olympian is in my bed
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
